Owl

Quick sketch, 11/29/10

Owl 1

A good costume

I've never had a good Halloween costume. In middle school, Carissa was a pirate. Then I was a weak pirate for a few years, minus the patch, messed up teeth and grime. It was a store-bought costume made of cheap material and it didn't keep you warm at all. At the time, I admired the kids who could make their own creative costumes.

A few years ago, Jenny and I pseudo-dressed up and went trick or treating (well past the age where that was acceptable but no one can tell). We wore homemade masks and attempted to put together something that was slightly lame, as one woman answered the door and asked what I was. (By the way, I don't think this was a big deal or any of her business. I landed on her doorstep and she'd better shell out the candy. My half-hearted effort was still worth a few handfuls.) Like many holidays that our family celebrates, there isn't a whole lot of meaning behind it: On Halloween, it was all about how much good candy you could get; Thanksgiving was about how good the turkey/stuffing was; and Christmas about how good your presents were or how many you got.

Now, the costumes for teens and girls have become nothing more than a few pieces of cloth and baring as much skin as you can (princess, occupations of different sorts, Amazon woman...) As an "adult," I haven't had a chance to break out the creative juices, and it doesn't matter much. It will be nice to experience the holiday from a kid's perspective ... so for now, I must live vicariously through Ryan.

Movies: Great sleep inducers

I really can't help falling asleep to movies these days, especially if the hour goes past 10 or I'm watching something between 2 and 4 on weekends. I think, "I'll just rest my eyes," but then inevitably I open them again and have missed a exciting part. Sigh. Perhaps it all began freshman year in Cinema class, where we watched movies at night and there was little talking. Here's just a sample that have fallen by the sleepy wayside. *Asterik denotes in the theatre.

1. Robots*
2. Midsomer Life
3. A Serious Man
4. Da Vinci Code*
5. Million Dollar Baby*
6. Ran
7. Castle in the Sky
8. Aviator
9. Body of Lies
10. Life Aquatic
11. Kung Fu Panda
12. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (Johnny Depp version)
13. Metropolis
14. Shrek the Third
15. Pineapple Express
16. Up
17. Coraline
18. Shop Girl
19. Citizen Kane

... those are all that I remember right now. To be continued.

Bring the water, rain or shine

When I hear the soft, incessant sound of the water sprinklers rising from the grass (promptly before sunrise and in the evening after the sun goes down), a feeling of anger bubbles up along with it. The water hits the wooden garbage enclosure to the garbage bins, which will likely rot in no time, the pavement and streets and of course, the grass that is always green.

It's another example of the unnoticed or uncared about waste. I wish there was something like the water police, who would come a-knocking at the association president's door (let's call him Harold). In response to my queries, Harold said he was "looking into it" and that the landscapers have assured him that the sprinklers have moisture sensors. Hmm..then why were the sprinklers on again after thunderstorms hit the area and there was rain for several days last week? To my last innocent e-mail, I received no response.

The association with Harold at the head imposes rules for the development: the right way to recycle and discard garbage (many of our middle-class neighbors can't follow instructions) and rein in rambunctious kids. But who's monitoring this water business?

I'll stop now, as there are many more important issues to think about. But the waste, oh the waste.

"Call me"

Talking on the phone is overrated (though now I'm a little more OK with it and there are a handful of people that I enjoy hearing from, whereas before, hate may have been accurate). There's something about not seeing someone's face and holding something to your ear that's not appetizing.

And why are people always saying, "Call me"? Why don't you call me? Or better yet, e-mail me what you want to discuss and we can correspond at our convenience. Receiving a Call me is another thing to remember to have to do, lest you hurt the other party's feelings by accidentally (or not) forgetting to pick up the phone.

It would also be nice if people could refrain from leaving voicemails or e-mails that read, "I have something to tell you." Why not just say or write what you want to tell me? These types of messages would be better reserved for serious occasions like a death or accident that really warrants a conversation. Some would argue that things get lost in translation and it's "easier" to get a point across with words. That is true sometimes, but misunderstandings can happen at any point, especially since the coveted "excellent verbal communication" bit has bypassed many a folk, including myself.

Let's talk about it.

Subway walking

Tired and wet, I walked through the subway today, in the midst of Monday morning rush hour. Everyone was intent to reach their destination, to escape the stifled air below.

I felt myself shutting down senses and the masses became a blur but the bodies moving in slow motion. Some people were intent to keep their heads down, iPods in their ears, skinny jeans pasted to their legs, scarf thrown carelessly around their necks, a stony expression on their faces. Less will look you in the eye, and when they do, I was still surprised that they seem like they're really looking, seeing, assessing. Others wear a vacant, cool look in their eyes, artfully donning the city "personality" as if they don't care, and maybe they don't. Or they're just used to the stares and probes and find this an easier way to maneuver through the streets. When I'm alone, I, too, am like them, wearing a mask that's necessary to deal with the assault on the senses. These people are anonymous, original, commonplace, pawns.

The many uses of a plastic bag...actually not that many

There's a trend toward using reusable bags for groceries and shopping, but even the best of us forget those canvas totes once in awhile and grab those environmental-sucking plastic ones. There are, however, many uses for them before chucking them in the garbage:

• garbage-can lining, in lieu of real trash bags, especially good for small wastepaper baskets


• transporting stuff
  
• dumping foods that will smell in the garbage if it's not garbage day for a few days
• to wrap foods that you're freezing
• to wrap other foods that don't require freezing but are messy (ie: flour)
• ...it's good to have a bag filled with plastic bags in case you need, and to bring to the grocery stores that have areas to recycle plastic bags

Not Green at work

I am amazed by all of the things that we, as a society, waste on a daily basis: When it comes to the environment in specific, it's a lot. Water, energy, paper, etc. And when it doesn't directly touch your pocketbook, it somehow seems to matter less, especially at work.

We are obsessed with meetings, discussions and strategic thinking to make more money for the One. After one of these productive meetings, people often leave the conference room light on, or the light on in their office after leaving for the day. Plus, if the building has natural light coming in from windows, why do we need to have the interior lights running the whole day?

Recycling also seems less important at the office. You're at your cubicle finishing a bottled water, but the recycling bin is on the other side of the room and seems so far away. That reason is enough to lead you to throw the plastic container in the garbage, or to throw a piece of paper that you accidentally printed into the trash can.

Going out, especially driving to get there, wastes a lot of energy, especially in packaging goods. We always get more than we need of plastic utensils and don't think twice about throwing even unused ones in the garbage. This one does directly touch the wallet, and in the end, bringing a bagged lunch or leftovers saves the environment and your money.

Helping the environment is more about stopping the waste and reducing your footprint on the earth; it's a commitment to something greater than yourself--hard to do even if you see something tangible as a result.

Things I love/like

And then in the future...Things I hate (this might even be easier)
In no particular order and more TK!:

• Turtlenecks - There's something about being covered to the neck that makes you feel protected and warm.
• Family pictures - It's nice to reminisce about the good 'ole days, and to see an unfolding of your history.
• Mimosa plants - The love affair began in Mrs. Gehsmann's 6th grade class, and we were studying plants. You can touch the leaves--and it moves!
  
• Coming home after a vacation or being away - Of course there's the excitement of being somewhere else than here, but it's also nice to come home (minus work anxieties) and to see people you miss.
• Aquariums - I'm not much of an animal person, but I like seeing animals in captivity. The sea is mysterious and scary, and it's cool to see what lives in that vast space.
  
• Knitted things - Related to turtlenecks, I love a good pair of gloves, a scarf and a hat.
  
• Survivor - A fan from the beginning, this is a great show. Admittedly, most of the people they choose are either attractive, annoying or dramatic, but the competitions and social dynamics are interesting. Maybe it's also because I know that I would probably be kicked off for being too weak in a physical challenge or being too quiet and people figure they can't trust me. Oh well.
• Sharing something that someone else doesn't know - I felt bad that the father of my neighbor growing up didn't know that George Bush didn't like broccoli; it made me look smart though it was a small and unimportant thing.
• Being surprised - Self-help books tell you not to prepare yourself for failure or for bad things to happen, but sometimes you can't help it. So when someone surprises me with an action, a word, it's meaningful, especially because it's not a common occurrence.
• Getting absorbed into a good book - I love the feeling that I don't want to put a book down because then I'll get that much closer to finishing it. I tend to flip ahead to see where I am in a chapter, so if I can keep that to a minimum, cool!
• Getting friended--by someone I actually like - I didn't like Facebook at first, but it's grown on me.
• Cards/letters - I know they're bad for the environment, but I love reading them. It makes you feel as if you're important to someone.
• Black bubble tea - It's trendy but still yummy. I wasn't crazy about the texture when I first popped one of the balls into my mouth, but it's definitely grown on me. And with just a little bit of sugar.
• A clean and neat kitchen - I think this is generally the dirtiest part of a house...the crumbs, bacteria, grease.
  

Snow

The beauty of a snow day. It seems like most people experience it: The thrill of not being where we're supposed to be every day.

The dramatic weather reports do want to scare and keep people tuning in, but you can't help but continue to watch and keep up to date of the storm. I especially like hearing the accumulation totals: The words "record snow fall," while overused, perk up the ears. I like this time of year.

As a child, it wasn't fun to experience the disappointment of having the meterologists' warnings be wrong. It wasn't cool to have your school stay open or have the snowstorm happening on a weekend, especially when you had allowed that hope to seep into your consciousness that perhaps, just perhaps, school would be closed. When you heard my Mom's footsteps at the door, you knew that good news was coming.

Shoveling snow can be fun, too, especially when your Dad insists on doing the real heavy lifting. My parents had a plastic red shovel that was light enough to push the bulk and gave you the illusion that you were helping tremendously with snow removal. When we were small enough to fit on a plastic sled, my Dad pulled us around the backyard, which was big since it wasn't home to a massive pool like the other neighbors on the block. Inevitably, I would fall face first into the snow. My Mom never liked us to get our clothes wet because we would drip all over the house; this did not bode well for her clean sensibilities. But we did get into the thick of it, especially on the porch, and then returned to the house for a cup of hot chocolate or tea.

Now, snow days are rare ones, but when they happen--like today--they're a real treat. We may still be obliged to work from home, but being in a comfortable setting, being able to look frumpier than usual and not having to worry about a figure looming at your cubicle help the psyche a lot.

I am soaking in the view of the falling snow. This is life...not just the obligations or what you do that make you useful. Step away and regain perspective.

Corp-speak

Be real. No more witty catchphrases, showering of praises and attention or continual pats on the back. Being in a corporate environment often makes me feel like a misshapen blob trying to into a neat mold. I wonder what it would feel like to have the corporate tones resonate (it must feel good) but then I think I am OK with not being swayed, not being neat, even though it creates a chasm.

Smile

It takes awhile for my smile to warm up. It surprises me when people can smile naturally at whim. When the smile doesn't well up within me, it doesn't reflect on the physical self. When I look at pictures, I like to see the genuine ones that show in my whole face. It probably meant that that I felt happy, silly--both good things.

Smile.

I wish

It would be nice to feel beautiful all of the time, bursting with this from within. But alas, I guess it is like the impossible wish to be happy all of the time. And without the opposing feelings, you have no way to compare or to appreciate feeling good. Still, it would be nice.

Alignment

Life seems to include phases of "misalignment" or "disalignment" with the self's core. We are continually in flux with our desires, plans, experiences, obsessions, feelings, other forces, etc. Through the search of something "else" besides what is, we become disengaged/detached from the very energy of life. That's not to say that we must accept the status quo and not strive for more, but we need to keep a complete perspective. Must remember to experience life with the wonder and passion that it deserves.